Call me 'Red'.

Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster! It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver! That quiver will lose us Nationals. And without a championship, I’ll lose my endorsements. And without those endorsements, I won’t be able to buy my hovercraft.
Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers, it only comes back stronger, like some sexually-ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I’ve sacrificed everything, only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens. Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course it’s not me. It’s Will Schuester! What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? It’s coming clear to me now. If I can’t destroy the club, I will have to destroy the man.

I never knew how scared of bugs I was until a minute ago, when I saw a little black squiggly thing on the deck table and went to touch it and realised it was a caterpillar.

Literally ran around screaming for about 15 seconds. Luckily I had just gone to the bathroom or else I probably would have had an accident.

Seriously. Any creature with more than four legs is just unnecessary and shouldn’t belong in the world.

I feel like they’re on me right now.

I just jumped around my room rocking out to Jonas Brothers on electric guitar.

I’m not even ashamed.

First a Classics lecture with Anna.
Then bumming around town.
Then going back to Anna’s to hang with her and Sacha.
Then a night of baking goodies and GLEE.

Oh my gosh it’s like my perfect night.

Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes
They Both,
Oh Yes, They Both,
Oh Yes, They Both Reached For,
The Gun, The Gun, The Gun, The Gun,
Oh Yes,
They Both Reached For The Gun,
FOR THE GUN.

She hits the lights
This doesn’t seem quite fair
Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn’t feel so prepared
She’s breathing quiet and smooth, he’s gasping for air.
“This is the first and last time”, he says
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides
He’s holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels… like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter
She’s moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect
He whispers that he loves her, but she’s probably only looking for…
So much more than he could ever give
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides
He waits for it to end and for the aching in his guts to subside.

- Brand New.

I have the weirdest obsession with Mustard Pickle right now.
YUMMY.

For the first time since I can’t even remember.
Feels GOOOD.

Gonna relaxxxxx for a bit before heading to the movies to see Monte Carlo with Anna!

WHEEE. Gonn’ be good.

Love days like this.

I would go and stand outside each and every one of my friends houses and serenade them with Count On Me by Bruno Mars.

And then drive away.

1) I have really good taste in guys.

2) My sense of humour hasn’t changed at all. I still laughed manically at some of the things I posted cuz I thought they were funny at the time.

3) My obsession with Naya Rivera is actually no where near as bad as it was 10 pages ago.

Firstly I grabbed a knife instead of a spoon to make my coffee.

Then I tried to put the coffee in but the cup was upside-down so it went everywhere.

Then when I tried to put my contact lenses in, they were BOTH disagreeing with me.

These are the things I use to judge how good my day is going to be.